You fail to understand or acknowledge just how often it is the responsibility of the Black community to educate white people on their shortcomings. Why should I have to be the one to teach them about what I do in my culture? We are expected to know everything about white people because it is taught at an early age that they are the de facto race in America. White people are not challenged like PoC to know anything more than themselves. That's why even something as seemingly simple as explaining why I wear lotion in the winter is frustrating because it is all things about Black culture that white people need to be taught. Of course this story is coming from own perspective, but this is not a sentiment just felt by me and I never once fetishized white men. It is easy to be attracted to a group that is so often shown as the only option in the mainstream media. Maybe begin to challenge why it is that Black people so often have to deconstruct their view of white people later in life rather than questioning why I used my own perspective to come to this conclusion.